07.31.05
Posted in Parenting at 11:49 pm by tina
We endured Maddy’s ‘most whining’ day this past Sat. It was as if she woke up from the wrong side of bed after her nap, everything was no-this, no-that.
A good eater who had always ’sat through’ adult meals in the restaurants all the sudden had to leave the table five minutes into dim sum lunch with our neighbors. Then for the rest of the day, it was no-this, no-that, AND I-want, I-want… including I-want-time-out with an attitude.
It’s disheartening to watch parents who ‘displine’ their kids out of their anger. Growing up in the traditional Chinese culture, I was brought up in environments which believe in ‘fear and guilt’. I remember conversations with my bestfriends in college about ‘how guilt trips and fear for the authorities got us so far and that will be how we bring up our children’… that is, until I have my own child… Maddy changed my whole perspectives on parenting, and I’m deeply convicted that parenting is not about getting my own instant gratification of getting Maddy’s obedience out of her fear or guilt…. yet on Sat night, I was so close to losing it!
As she continued to whine while we talked about what happened during the day (and how it would make me so much happier if she uses her listening ears and her words more tomorrow), it suddenly dawn on me about why the child had been so upset… I asked her if she is sad that Cosette (whose family stayed w us for two days but left during her nap time) is not here any more, and the girl suddenly bawled like crazy and nodded her head. Maddy had bonded with Cosette the instant they met each other, and I had never seen her playing with another child this well…. So well that I can leave them two alone for a good while without hearing “MINE” from either of them.
I should have figured it out earlier. As verbal as she is, there are plenty of things she can’t express herself yet. Somtimes I forget, just how little she really is.
So all of us were so releived… Cosette’s family made it to church on Sunday, and Maddy got the chance to say her formal goodbyes.
She is back to her normal self since then.. not a ‘I do everything perfectly’ child, but a normal 23-month-old: happy, cheerful, and testing her limits every chance she gets.
Go ahead and practice your “Terrible Two” skills, my dear child! God help mommy be the best mommy she can be for you in the mean time…
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07.28.05
Posted in Daycare Reports at 10:06 pm by tina
One of the funnist things of living in Cary is watching everything being built from gound zero including subdivisions, highways, grocery stores, public schools and preschools.
And I’ve been eyeing two preschools for specific reasons:
1) Carolina Kid Academy, Carpenter Village subdivision’s own daycare. How cool is that! She can walk to her preschool from home, since it’s situated next to the pool. They can probably have ‘field trips’ to the pool, I imagine.
2) KidsRKids, Morrisville. Another five star preschool, located less than 0.5 mile from Maddy’s Primrose. They have Webcams, which Primrose doesn’t.
I scoped out both schools, checked their websites… both will be ready by end of this year or beginning of next year. I would probably check them out once they officially open, but I doubt I would move Maddy at all.
God has provided us with everything that fit for our family when we moved here (the house, work, & Maddy’s school). Primrose in tradition has a long waiting period, but someone dropped out a week before we moved here so Maddy got a spot.
She has really flourished there. I love the balanced learning environment… how they learn from the silliest activities, how they have Spanish, computers, Gardening, Fancy Feet dancing, MusicKare, Tumblebus, to the occasional pony rides and bounce houses. I love the teachers, who are young yet all of them are like supernannies. I witnessed the kids not following the instructions, and the teachers started to count to three. No reaction with count 1, but they run back to where they’re supposed to be when ‘2′ is counted. I thought it’s the funniest thing how the kids test their limits (some wait until 2 and half before they ‘run for their life’) but abide to rules at the end, thanks to the consistency of the teachers. I love the kids in Maddy’s classroom… how they run to Maddy and give her hugs in the mornings and how they call me “Maddy mommy” and wait for me to kiss them. A mother always knows when her child enjoys something, and I say Maddy is having the time of her life there!
We got a notice today that she will be promoted to the next class (The Early Preschool I) right before she turns two. We’re so excited for her, that she will no longer be in the “toddler’s room”, but will be in the preschool room with POTTIES in the classroom. Her room will be ready when she’s ready to be trained 
And her tuition, will drop a whole $200 for being a big girl!
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07.25.05
Posted in Maddy's First Month at 11:29 pm by tina
The other morning Maddy climbed onto our bed in the morning and examed the space under the headboard:
Maddy: Something down there
Mommy: What is it down there?
Maddy: Sticker
Mommy: Is that your sticker?
Maddy: yea.. fell off
Mommy: Your sticker fell off the bed?
Maddy: yea.. mommy get it
Mommy: mommy get it?
Maddy: I need it!
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I went to school to pick Maddy up, Owen and Abaham ran to me as well.
Maddy: MY MOMMY… NO NO.. MY MOMMY. No Owen daddy!.. Not Abraha mommy!
Mommy: Hi sweetie, it’s ok. Owen is waiting for his daddy and Abraham is waiting for his mommy. They just want to give mommy a hug, that’s all.
It’s pretty amazing the kids have everyone’s ‘parents’ down. They all know whose mom is coming or whose daddy is coming to pick them up.
On the way to our car, a van drove by..
Maddy: Cole mommy here.
Mommy: Is that right? Is that Cole’s mommy?
Baby girl is a lot more observant than mommy.
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Maddy: Brownie don’t bother me!
Mommy: Brownie is not bothering you. She’s just looking at you
Maddy: (dropped some food on the floor) Brownie eat Maddy cereal
Mommy: If you drop your food on the floor, then it’s Brownie’s
Maddy: Brownie eat Maddy lucky charm cereal
Mommy: Because Maddy dropped her lucky charm cereal on the floor, Brownie ate it.
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Mommy: Maddy, do you still have your boo-boo on your hand?
Maddy: Yea.. lose other one bandaid
Mommy: (puzzled and tried to carried on the conversation) Would you like a new bandaid?
Maddy: I want other one bandaid
Mommy: (oh I see)… you LOST the other bandaid? You need ANOTHER one?
Maddy: ANOTHER bandaid
So daddy reported back to me. When Maddy went to school with her bandaid, she got everyone to gather around and checked out her carebear bandaid. Not only that, she started to ‘tell’ them some stuff that daddy couldn’t understand. However, the rest of the kids ‘got’ her and she enjoyed being the center of attention.. didn’t even know daddy left.
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07.24.05
Posted in Parenting at 10:04 pm by tina
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Posted in Maddy at 9:09 pm by tina
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07.21.05
Posted in Maddy at 10:36 pm by tina
Daddy has always been very particular with his den(office). It’s his retreat and the only place mommy allows him to be messy. When we moved into this house, he had chosen the bonus room and claimed as his.
However, overflowing by his love for Maddy (plus a bit guilt after visiting a STM’s house, which had used their bonus room as a playroom), daddy declared that he is giving up the bonus room.
For the past three days, daddy has moved most of his den furniture to a much smaller spare room, dragged the extra ones which could no longer fit to the unfinished attic, and in the process of moving all his stuff out by end of this weekend. He even moved all the big toys from Maddy’s old playroom to the new one.
What does Maddy do when asked if she would like to have the bonus room as her new playroom:
Maddy: YEA! YEA!
And she danced and turned and laughed…
Maddy: Daddy, you’re the best! Daddy, we love you! Thank you, daddy (She followed me and repeated everything I said to daddy)
And it made it all worth while for daddy… hearing the sweet words from his daughter.
What does mommy do in the meantime:
Ordered Maddy’s own computer desk and planning the train table that we haven’t gotten because the old playroom didn’t have enough space… and looking for ideas to decorate the walls… Daddy mumbbled “I haven’t even moved out yet, and you already ordered her stuff”…. Sure did… too bad we couldn’t move the mural from the old room to the new room. oh well.
Thank you daddy, for sacrificing your big den and loving Maddy so much!
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07.15.05
Posted in Maddy at 2:21 am by tina
When my uncle took us to visit Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world:
Maddy: Big house! I want big house!
Mommy: Would you like to go into the big house?
… we all went up to the observatory on 89th floor and enjoyed the 360 view of the city. Maddy’s first question:
Maddy: Where is big house?
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On the way to visit my relatives in Tai-chung, I explained to Maddy that her great-grandparents are mommy’s ah-goon and ah-ma. When we finally met them, she was a little disappointed that her ah-zho (great-grandparents in Taiwanese) were not her ah-goon and ah-ma
Maddy: My ah-goon home
Mommy: Yea. Your ah-goon and ah-ma are home. These are mommy’s ah-goon and ah-ma.
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Daddy undressed to get ready for his shower at our host family in Taiwan.
Maddy: daddy wee-wee go away
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Daddy was playing with Maddy and tried to tickle her all over:
Maddy: Don’t touch my leg.. Daaaaaaaaaddy
Maddy: Don’t touch my shirt.. Daaaaaddy
Maddy: Don’t touch!
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Mommy: Maddy, if you don’t lay down still and take a short nap, you need to have a time out.
Quietness for the next 10 seconds and Maddy got up announced:
Maddy timeout.
Mommy: Does Maddy need a timeout?
Maddy: Yea…
Got up, walked to her timeout corner and sat down
The child knows how to stall for time!
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Mommy: Maddy, I need a kiss.
Maddy: (kiss mommy)…
Mommy: Thanks! Can I have another kiss, please?
Maddy: already kiss (and left mommy)
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Posted in Maddy at 2:03 am by tina
Dear Maddy,
You’ve been a perfect child during our mission trip these past two weeks. While I worried sick about the long plane ride across the ocean, you slept 9+ hours both ways without any drugs. You’re such a perfect traveler, entertained by the little bag EVA airline gave out; patiently waited for your turn to get dinner, then slept until they started to serve breakfast 9 hours later.
It’s been a rather tough trip for you. The weather was horrible: hot and humid; quite unbearable for the whole family. You were cooped up in the nursery while mommy and daddy taught kids in the VBS camp, then we dragged you to different activities and meetings totally inappropriate for your age.
The trip had taken a toll on you. You lost the usual smiles and cheers and had this long and sad face all day long. But you endured it all . Compared to daddy, he is the weakest link out of the Chen gang.
You had slightly better time at the end of our trip. We had a few days visiting your great-grandparents, great-uncles/aunts, uncles/aunts, and mommy’s friends. Uncle Richard commented that I talk to you like talking to an adult and not a two-year-old. The truth is, you are so amazing in everything you do that sometimes, I do forget… that you’re not even two yet.
We are all very happy to be home. During our 6-hour lay-over in SF, we took a shuttle to Pier 39 and spent a few hours strolling around. You seemed pleasantly surprised that it was ‘nice’ outside and for the first time during the whole trip, you returned to your old self: sat throught the whole dinner in your high-chair without getting fussy and cranky.
When I dropped you off at school this morning, you had the biggest smile on your face. Abraham ran to you and gave you a huge hug and you lit up like a little girl in love. You were a bit tired because of jeg-lag, but I can tell that you’re thrilled to be back to ‘your’ world!
Even though you hardly slept any last night and had a terrible time sleeping by yourself after sleeping with us for the past two weeks, you amaze us again tonight. As you went down at 1:00am (since we passed out after school/work and didn’t get up until 9:pm), you said good-night to me pleasantly and went down without a fuss. Here I am, up at 2:am…. wondering when I will be tired and how you never cease to surprise me with your incredible ability and grace when facing uncertainties and changes.
Thank you for being such a wonderful partner in your mommy and daddy’s lives!
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