A mothering journey with my two beautiful girls
End of June last year, the three girls hung out at the pool with their still baby-ish faces. Today, they also hung out at the pool, but they all look like little girls.
Daddy protected his little girl last year, and he is still protecting her this year.Â
The other girls’ little brothers are both over one year old now, and our family got another pool bum in tow!
That’s what happens when a tadpole ended up in a household with two engineer parents.
One of the tadpoles bellied up a week ago. It was still moving but look like it wasn’t going to make it. Daddy said it got a tumor in the belly and we should “end its suffering” and down the toilet it went.
Then a second tadpole started to belly up. I decided that we should just wait it out this time since I’ve been following everything according to “how to take care of your tadpole sheet”.
It bellied up; recovered the next day; bellied up again; and recovered again. It’s the weirdest thing but a few days later, it’s still living and kicking like a normal tadpole.
Thankfully Maddy is too young to care if she has three or four tadpoles.
I’m losing my patience though. According to the book, they should grow legs in 2 to 4 weeks. It’s been almost 4 weeks and I don’t even see any studs on them. Bummer!
Maddy has been in the new school for a month now, and I’m having sleepless nights because I can’t decide whether I like the old school or the new school better.
It would have been much easier if one of them sucked, but both of them are excellent five-star preschools. Each of them has different strengths and weaknesses, and I would recommand both to any parents without any reservation.
Things I really like about the new school:
1) The facility: each classroom is at least twice the size compared to the old school. The huge multi-purpose room is wonderful for rainy days or extreme hot days because they can set up a bounce house inside.
2) The webcam: I love watching Maddy any time I want to. It’s not that I don’t trust the teachers there. It’s more just a fun thing to check out what the girl is up to during the day without having to drive there.
3) The teacher/student ratio: Well, I am not sure if I actully like it. Currently, the ratio is about 1:2 or 1:3, which is a big difference from the normal 1:8. But it almost seems sad.. It’s too quiet. The wonderfully decorated and supplied classroom needs more children and more laughter in it.
4) The extra-curriculum classes of Tumblebus, Soccor, computer classes
Things the old school does much better:
1) The communication:Â Monthly reports, daily reports are done with better professionalism
2) The discipline:Â Perhaps it’s out of nesscity due to space limit and number of kids, the kids are expected and responsible for more things such as cleaning after their own plates (the teachers does all the cleaning in the cafe in the new school)
3) The teachers: Teachers are very obersving and they know all the kids in school by first names. When Maddy wore new shoes or new shirts to school, most teachers passing by would make cute comments to her. When she wore her new sneakers to school the other day, only one teacher made a comment.
4) The extra-curriculum classes of Tumblebus, Fancy Feet and Polly the story teller
And there is that ‘chemistry’ between the kids. I know it’s a good thing that Maddy learns to make new friends (which she’s having some issues with.. that she rather plays by herself than to bother making new friends), but I can’t deny that there is a special synergy amongst her ‘crew’ at the old school. I know friendship takes time to build, but I also believe that you don’t always find good friends you click with naturally.
So Livy is going to start with the old school in the begining of Sept because there isn’t a spot for her at the new school until later Sept (I go back to work on the 11th), and we love the teacher there as well (we also like the baby room teacher at the new school.. whom also happened to be the teacher who noticed and made comment about Maddy’s new shoes although Maddy isn’t even in her class)
Anyway, it would be tough to juggle between the two schools for a while. Eventually, we will have to make a decision and have the girls go to the same school. Even though it’s still three months away, it’s giving me sleepless nights (on the days Livy skipped midnight feedings.. just my luck)
Perhaps it’s a good problem to have: that we have two very good schools to choose from. I’m glad that we tried the new school even though it turns out to be ‘equally good’ as the old one. I would have always wonder “what if” if we didn’t.Â
I still have some time to evaulate what are the more important things I’m looking for in a school and Maddy still has more time to adjust. There will be many discussions between me and the directors, us and Abe’s parents, and of course, lots of prayers. For now, Maddy sums up my feelings perfectly “Mommy, I like my new school… but I miss my old teachers and my old friends”
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06/26/06  Weight: 10 pounds 15 oz Length: 21 in HC: 37.5cm
05/03/06  Weight: 5 pounds 1 oz   Length: 18 1/4 in
04/21/06  Weight: 4 pounds 15 oz Length: 17 3/4 in
On the regular chart, Livy is between 5-10% in height, 50% weight, and 25% HC.
On the premie chart, She is 50% in height, 95% in weight, and 75% HC.
It looks like she’s going to catch up to the ‘regular’ chart soon. Like Maddy, she’s also on the heavier side of things. Go figures.
When I was single, the highlights of my life were hanging out with close friends, working abroad, and traveling to fancy places in the name of business trips.
When I was married with no kids, the highlights of my life were running races, hiking, skiing/diving, and eating out/staying out late.
Now I have two kids with a house, the highlights of my life are -
1) Sneaking into new houses being built down the street and going to neighbor’s open house.
2) The silent and peaceful sleep after baby Livy’s violent protests for not being held
3) Checking the new blooms in our yards
4) Watching Maddy girl enjoy a Sat afternoon
5) Making slushes/smoothies from ice cubes and fruit juice and have Maddy think I’m the greatest cook in the world!
Our little premie (well, not so little any more) is two month old today, and she’s giving me the best two month old baby can give her mommy: learned to fall asleep on her own.
Livy is on day four of sleep training. She is stubborn and loud. Her cries are so sharp and violent I swear she is determined to rather die from her crying than to be sleep trained. We endured several 1 1/2 hours of straight crying these past four days. I don’t even think she remembered why she was crying when we picked her up.
I put her on her side for her nap this morning. As usual she screamed bloody murder. Strangely the cries stopped after 10 minutes. I went to check on her. The child had somehow turned herself to lay on her tummy (she is amazingly strong) and was fast asleep like an angel.
She cried two cycles of 10 mintues but eventually fell asleep on her own this afternoon as well. I sighed in relief: No more rocking and having to walk around the house with an extremely fussy and tired child. A baby who has the learned skill of falling asleep on her own: It’s a good thing!!
Ever since Livy joined us, my patience for Maddy’s insane number of “WHY’s” has dropped to about two. When she asks me why for the third time, I can feel the hair on my arms stand up and smoke comes out of my ears.
Today I decided to give Maddy some of her own medicine-
Maddy: I’m quiet in my new school.
Mommy:Â Why?
Maddy: I’m not shy in my old school, but I’m shy in my new school.
Mommy:Â Why?
Maddy:Â Because I’m shy in my new school
Mommy:Â Why?
Maddy:Â Because I’m shy in my new school
Mommy:Â Why?
Maddy: Because I want to
Mommy:Â Why?
…..
Mommy:Â Why?
Maddy:Â DON’T TALK ANY MORE.
Mommy: WHY? [thinking.. good. Now you know how I feel]
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Granted Maddy is always so unmotivated if you are the one taking her to Little Gym or Little Kickers, you are the dad who ends up exercises the most in her classes.
Granted you ended up falling asleep and Maddy came downstairs roaming around during her night time routine, you never missed giving her good night kisses.
Granted you don’t make the formula the ‘right way’, you insist on getting up in the middle of night during Livy’s feeding time to change her diapers.
Granted you are a big talker about being a BabyWise dad, you gave in two days in a row to your little stubborn baby and held her in your total defeat willingly and lovingly out of your character of not liking ‘losing’.
To the daddy who does the best ‘Da Shawn Bau Bau’; who gets up every morning to play house with Maddy so mommy can sleep in; who drops Maddy to school and is popular amongst her classmates; who so proudly insists that Livy looks EXACTLY like you when you were a baby; who give your greasy nose for Livy to suck on when she is upset:
Our girls are blessed to have you as their daddy. Happy Father’s Day!!
My MIL insisted that Joe was a perfect baby who was potty trained at six month old. My mom also tells us that I was the perfect baby. Whenever Maddy or Livy shows any not-so-perfect traits such as crying with a temper or having bad skin (well, maybe the bad skin did come from daddy), my mom will tell me straight in the face “that must be from Joe”
Joe and I always get a huge kick out of it. The fact that our moms actually believe we were flawless. Some mutation we got with our girls.
I suppose in their blind love for us, they must have done something right. Both Joe and I turn out ok, and we’re somewhat objective when it comes to our kids. I would be the first to admit that Maddy was a darn ugly baby (but she is turning out to be an absolutely adorable girl now) and Livy has a bad temper. I love them just as much though, in all their cuteness and all their imperfection. Perhaps, my love for them is just as blind 
Ah-goon and ah-ma left five minutes ago, and I am missing them terribly already (so does Livy, who is officially put on sleep train the moment her grandparents left the house and is now protesting in her bassinet).
With all the wonderful help we’ve been receiving since Livy’s birth, nothing compares to ah-ma’s help. I talked to a good friend recently and we chit chatted about it really doesn’t matter how ‘perfect’ any other help is, it’s just not the same if it’s not from our own mother.
Our mother knows us the best. She knew when to lend a hand, and when to let me do my things. She did everything I would normally do but frankly too tired to do without me asking. She babied her 34-year-old daughter these past two weeks.
Suddenly I realize what a privillage it is to be a mom of two girls. In twenty or thirty years…. when my girls have their own kids, I hope I will be able to help in those first months of them becoming moms themselves. I hope they will long for my companion as much as I long and appreciate my mom’s.
1) Can’t fit into my swimsuit and had to go swimsuit shopping because it didn’t seem right not to swim with Maddy in our kid-friendly Carpenter Village pool. To make my pathetic swimsuit shopping story short: I had to wear two sizes up to barely cover all the ’stuff’ that shouldn’t be there.
2) Can’t fit into any of my skirts or dresses and look decent. There is no way I would agree to buy another outfit just for one event, and so I went on the date with Joe in my maternity clothing.Â
3) Can’t shed those pregnancy weight… still 18 pounds to go. Ah-ma’s cooking is not helping and I look ridicously fat in all the photos.
4) Can’t wear nice lingerie. For the only time in my adulthood where I actually have cleavage, the only bras waiting are the world most ugliest nursing bras… not to mention the stupid nursing pads needed to be put on. And when all is said and done, I will be left again with nothing.
5) Anticipated hair loss. I had such a bad case of hair loss after Maddy’s pregnancy, it’s been almost three years and my hair has not grown back like the way it used to. Just thinking about having to go through that again in a few months gives me the chills.
I’m so done having kids.
It’s been wonderful getting help from grandparents. Grandpa Junneck slaved whole day and cleaned up the area under the deck (something daddy ‘talked’ a lot about doing for a long time) I’m relieved from everyday mandane tasks. Ah-ma is doing all the cooking/cleaning/laundry and babysitting while I am feeling tired but not being very productive.
Joe and I got to go on our first date since Livy’s born. We went to see this musical comedy Candide. it wouldn’t usually be our choice of activity, but Joe’s vball teamate Bill happens to be the leading man of the show and it made a world of difference actually knowing someone on the stage.Â
I got to go on ‘dates’ with Maddy. It’s something we took for granted when she is the only child, but now seems to be such a luxary. Maddy girl absolutely loves them even if it’s just a simple Target run. When we left Livy with ah-goon/ah-ma to go to church yesterday, Maddy exclaimed in the car “This is our date!”
We will be totally ‘on our own’ by end of this week. It’s both exciting and scary. I’m not looking forward to the moments when thing are going wrong, but eventually we four will have to go through the choas and figure out the routines that work for us. It might as well be sooner than later.