I dont have a dramatic story to tell you. God didnt blind my eyes like He did to Saul. He didnt put me in a whales mouth like He did to Jonah, and He certainly didnt break 5 little fish and a loath of bread and fed 5000 people in front of me. But just like the relationship between my parents and me, I know that they love me not because of some heroic actions they did, but because of many many LITTLE things they did for me.
When I get a little older, I began to understand what it really means to BE A CHRISTIAN. I know God exists (Ill tell you about that later) and God listens to me, but I also enjoyed not being controlled by Him. You know, I liked the fact that I can be a Christian when I want to and I can do things for God when I want to. Whats this nonsense about giving God the control of my life? What if I dont like God AFTER I become a Christian.
Like every Christian, I go through that struggle even though I was brought up as a Christian. There comes to a point between all the knowledge I know about God or I say I am a Christian and I truly accept Christ to be my personal savior regardless of what my Christians family says and what my non-Christians family says. Its a flight between me and myself, about who I am and who I want to be.
And I must say, it was a flight. It was almost weird to see myself as two entities and fought to come to the final conclusion. Looking back from now, I see that God was very patient with me. He pushed me at the right time and allowed me to build up enough courage to take that step of faith when I accepted Him.
I have to be honest, I had a lot of mixed feelings about it. I was joyful to be part of Gods family, excited to become a true Christian, but also very scared and worried. I was scared because I know that it is not an easy road like many people portraits it to be. I was also afraid to let go the control of my life and having to listen to Gods will and all. In addition, I was worried that people would mock my belief and look at me as week and foolish.
Well, but here I am, 11 years later. Ive grown to know so much about God and experienced His love and mercy. Yet the more I know Him, the more I see that I really only knew so little about Him.
Anyway, I would like to use this page to tell you more about my experience. I dont have all the answers, and I have lots of questions as well. But I hope youll see one realistic Christian walk and more importantly, bits and pieces of who God is and what He means to me.