August 18, 1997

First off, I wanted to ask Tina's dad for permission to marry Tina before asking her. This was a long time wish of mine since attending the Bill Gothard Seminar when I first accepted Christ. One of the things Mr. Gothard said that stuck to me was about dating and marriage. The first is before dating, expect to get married. Don't date just to "get to know the other person better". In other words, the reason for courtship is for marriage.

The other thing is about father authority. Mr. Gothard said that before marriage, the daughter is under the father's authority. This is the way Christ intended it, and if you wanted the same role for your own household, you need to submit to the daughter's authority figure, which is her father. By asking Mr. Chang, I'm honoring his authority, which sets the standard for later in marriage.

So with that, I wanted to ask Mr. Chang in person, but two things made it difficult. First, Mr. Chang lives in Taiwan and comes to the states only once in a while and also he doesn't really speak English. So, my plan was to ask when the Changs visited Tina in Dallas and to do it in Chinese. So for about 3 months, I practiced a couple of sentences of Chinese to ask Mr. Chang for Tina's hand. I asked a few of my friends to translate and help me say the sentences.

But all went well till I got a chance to ask Mr. Chang on the way up from Mexico in the San Marcus outlet mall... I sweated like there was no tomorrow, and he probably didn't understand half of the things I was saying. But, luckily he got the general idea and give me permission. Actually, his words were more like "If Tina says yes, I say yes". So, there goes the father authority idea... just kidding!

And about 2 weeks later, I asked Tina at her apartment during one of our couple's devotion night. We normally go into some verses, pray and read this book. So I put in her bible the question "Tina, will you marry me?" in one of the verses we were going to read. We got to the prayer part and afterwards, Tina said she wanted to watch X-files, which kind of ruined the plan. So I asked "don't you want to read the couple's book??". She finally agreed and when she opened it up, I presented the ring (which I got from Karen Lee... the same jeweler who made Iwan's, Jon's, and Emory's rings).

Before Tina got a chance to give me an answer, Karen Cheng (her roommate) opened the front door and popped in. She already knew I was going to propose to Tina, but didn't want to wait any longer. I told Karen that I was still proposing, so she went back to her room. Despite the duress Tina was in, she still said yes. Ding ding!

August 18, 1997

Well, I had to admit... I did have some hints about Joe's proposal. My parents were acting really weird after they visited me in Dallas. First of all, they called every day to ask how I was doing (which they never did that before). And they would ask 'Is there something new?' Oh, and the last couple of days while they were in Dallas, they would ask dumb question like 'When do you want to get married?'

Now to think of it, I must have freaked them out. I told them I don't want to get married until 27 or 28. I don't know why people in the South get married so early for. Most of my classmates are still in grad school anyway, and I am just not ready to be someone's WIFE yet. Besides, I really enjoy the dating period, and the freedom I have being a single. Then my parents would say something like "Do you really not know?" or "you won't say no if Joe asks you to marry him today, right?"

Anyway, I had a hint, but I definitely didn't think it was going to be so SOON, especially we've talked about how I don't want to get married early. I mean, I know we will get married someday, some far far day, so what's the rush?

To make my story short. Joe proposed on our couple's devotion day (Aug 18th, 1997) We just finished doing the study and I was ready to watch some TV. (I guess I had ruined his plan) He insisted that we should read one more passage, and I was like "Didn't we just do that?" But finally, I opened Matthew 1. And there it was: "WILL YOU MARRY ME, TINA?" in the middle of my Bible. I laughed because the question sounds unfamiliar. (Well, no one else had asked me that question before). I don't know why, but I thought he was kidding. Then Joe showed me the ring, (I'll talk about the ring later) and waited for my answer.

Karen walked in at that time. I didn't know she already knew about the whole thing, so I had to quickly hide the ring and just smiled at her. (Don't blame me, it takes a long time for a girl to sink the idea in) She thought Joe had done the proposing, so she didn't mind hanging around in the living room. (Of course, Joe had to send her back to her room so he can get an answer from me in private)

I said YES, of course. Karen came out. She made us change out of our usual T-shirts and shorts so she can take some decent engagement pictures for us. What a friend! So there I was, still trying to absorb the idea of being 'engaged'.

Of course, I found out about Joe memorizing this speech in Chinese so he can ask my dad for permission. I thought that was the sweetest thing, much sweeter than the beautiful ring he gave me. (If you've heard him speaking in Chinese, you know what I mean. When he visited me in China last year, people REFUSED to believe that he is Chinese.... that's how bad Joe's Chinese is) It's very cute. My dad had memorized his speech as well (He recited to me over the phone). My parents had been so touched that my mom cried many times about how great Joe is and my dad wrote me a letter to tell me what he thinks of Joe. (BTW, it's way over-estimated, but I am glad that they love Joe more than they should)

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